Out Of Controll

It is a new year in the inner city church and my issues are as many as the grey hair on my head. I guess I deserve it.

A lady committed suicide Sunday, we memorialized her on Tuesday. A young man stabbed his dad and he is in the county jail waiting for my visit sometime this week. One of our young dads, with seven children, had a motorcycle accident and he is in ICU unconscious, on a thread. We have a few of our older people close to heaven and some have received news of life threatening health conditions. We just received news that we will have to cut the capacity of our cabin by 26 unless we are able to adjust some petitions.

2008 was a banner year for homegoings. We had more than 20 funerals at my last count. Some of these were pillars of the church. Needless to say we are hurting financially. Cutbacks are on the way.

On the plus side we baptized more than 50 last year and will attend a banquet to be recognized as a pacesetter in the state convention. This is primarily due to new youth leadership and two evangelistic efforts with George Brock and Kim Schmidt. We raised cash for a new bus. We contributed more than $10,000 to our legacy fund and gave over $30,000 to missions through the Cooperative Program.

I am not sure what leadership looks like on this side of the tracks. I am not even sure I am up to it today. All I know is that it is out of my control. That is probably good.

Today I realize that I am not in charge of life and death, or the economy, or people's attitudes, or the actions of others. I am only in control of myself. I have a choice today and I choose to be a person of faith. God has not resigned from His role in my life. He is at work even at this dead-end season. It is a season and He will be showing us some really special things in this time. So I do like Moses instructed the people at the Sea: I do not fear, I stand still, I watch God work, and I refuse to complain.

I have never been more out of control but in control at the same time. Thanks God for the cul de sac.