God Showed Up

I was depressed yesterday and was shocked out of it by my wife asking me a question. She asked me to share with her three positive things that happened that day. I had to think for a while and then it clicked. There were more than three things that day that had happened to me that were positive.

Why was I not positive? Why did I not see God? It was my pride that was devistated by a downturn in my investments in the stock market. Yes, I am not as brilliant an investor as I thought. Of course, I can use the excuse that the market is down for everyone and that everyone has been hit. However, that is not totally the case as I invested in two few stocks and some were more risky than others. I was gambling. It did not pay off. I am caught in a market of high oil, recession and pessimism. I am actually invested in one stock that Jim Cramer called the worst possible investment. He did that yesterday. So, there it is.

Now I have three options regarding the market:

1. I can shoot myself. That won't solve anything.
2. I can shoot my wife, or have her killed for the insurance money. (That happened in our community but the husband got caught and it was for other reasons).
3. I can face reality, learn my lesson, and trust God for the lessen learned and for His will going forward. So I am to be patient.

God is at work. This has driven me to my knees. God has my attention in a good way.

The three positive things are:

1. My 15 month-old grandaughter called me. Well, she hit the send button by accident and called me. She did not say anything. She can't talk. I heard her voice though and it was good.
2. A lady affirmed me by phone out of the blue.
3. Another lady I don't hear from much approached me at church. She said some really nice things.

Today however, I had the best present. God showed up and his name was loretta. She was a middle aged black lady with a bleach stain on her blue shirt. She was at the hospital where I was visiting. I approached her but the meeting was for me. She blessed me. She prayed with me. She challenged me. She quoted more scripture than I had heard or read in weeks. She strengthened my faith. She was the face of God. Nothing else has mattered since that encounter.

The market. The church. The family issues. The hurts of humanity. The ministry. The personal hang-ups. The anger. The lust. The greed. The self-pity. The regrets. None of it mattered. I met Loretta and she was God. God showed up and I am blessed today.

Permanent

Why do they call what someone does to their hair to make it curly a permanent. Is it permanent? No, it is temporary. They have to go back again to have another permanent to make it curly again.

Some things permanent are not really permanent. Is life permanent? Not really. Today I saw two men who are soon to die. One is dying today and the other probably within this year. They were once thriving, now they are dying. They have children and grandchildren. They both have worked hard. They are not permanent. Or, are they?

Both know Jesus. Or, at least both claim faith. So, that makes them permanent? No, actually they are permanent just going in the right direction. There are others who are permanent going in the wrong direction.

It is not the way that seems right to a man that makes things permanent. It is God.

Plans

I am making plans for the next few months. They involve me, Laurie, my church and my family. First I am going to a bible conference with some friends in May. I will be studying the book of Exodus. That will be sweet.

Also in May I walk across the stage at Midwestern Seminary to get my D. Min. I actually earned it in December but it will be awarded in May. On my birthday the church is having a celebration for my graduation. I am looking forward to a great time. 

Then there are the summer activities. Camps, bible school, back yard bible clubs and other things. It is going to be great. 

Finally, Laurie and I are going to Davao, Philippines for two weeks. We will be doing some mission work, encouraging our partners there and speaking at graduation of some tribal pastors. I want to be ready.

Also, I am preaching from Genesis the next two months, having a baby dedication and seeking to raise $25,000 for our endowment. 

These are my plans. However, we do not really know what will happen. All of these may change. But I want to have a plan I think God will honor. He has a plan. Therefore I should seek His will for my life. 

God is good. I want to do his will. I want to cling to the cross. I am forced to my knees by my failures but I get up in His strength. 

Spokes for Sound

As a child there was this thing we did to give a motorized effect to our bicycle. We would attach a baseball card with a clothes pin to the spokes. As we peddled the bike would make great sounds. Mickey Mantle never sounded so good as the bike navigated through the neighborhood. 

Now that I think back the sound would drive me crazy today. Also, just the thought of a valuable baseball card being bent, folded and eventually destroyed. That thought is unsettling. 

What was a motor then would be valuable today. We had no idea how defacing a baseball card would cost us good money today. I cannot imagine a sound effect being so costly. However, then it did not mater. The sound was more valuable than the cardboard with a picture on it. 

It was the sound of innocence. It was fun. Value is in the eye of the beholder. Yesterdays trash is todays treasure. Or yesterdays fun is todays memory. Now that is the treasure. It is the memory. Memories are priceless. Mantle is dead. I am alive. I have memories and I can remember them. Thanks God for the sound of the past. 

He Was Great

The greatest generation lost another one in March but he was not just another one to me. He was my father-in-law. His name was John Roaten. As you can see, he served in the army air force during WW II.

He was a prude. Yes, he did not have a clue about the importance of the sexual revolution. He did not even like watching ladies underwear commercials on television. He was a lover of Israel and a Ronald Regan republican. He read his bible completely every year and you could tell because the bible he used was bound with clear tape.

He was boring. He just worked, went to church, loved his wife and children, tithed faithfully and gave occasionally to Jews for Jesus. He was shy. He was introverted to a certain extent. He did not do anything "great." He understood much trivia in the bible.

He was also a whimp. Yes, he did dishes. He also washed clothes, planted flowers, ran the vacuum and cooked occasionally. Not a real man. Not a real man? You be the judge.

He was never in prison, only had a few trafic violations, supported people in the ministry, had children and grandchildren who all know Jesus. Well except for Macon, my grandaughter, who is 16 months. He was a prude, was boring, was a whimp. He is one of a kind and we need more like him.

You understand I am only speaking tongue in cheek. He was what many of us need to be. He was a man of principle. He was a man of focus. He was a man who stood for the values of the greatest generation. I will never be that good. However, I want to try. I am better because he lived.

I miss him every day. I am sad. I am depressed thinking of him. However, I am motivated. I did the dishes and mowed the grass today because of thinking of him. Thanks John for the motivation today.

April Fool

It is April and I don't feel that foolish. There is some wind today. This month is special because two people in my life have birthdays. It is the 22nd and 26th. I also get to visit my grandaughter this week. So I am excited on both counts, birthdays and blessed grandbaby.

Today is tax day. That is a stress. I do six returns and they are all finished. I am happy. Need to mail two of them in a little while. I am going when my wife arrives.

I am not a fool today because I still beleive in God in spite of experiences that drive me away from Him. The Bible says that a "...fool says in his heart there is no God." I know there is a God. I better because I am a pastor. However, just being a pastor is not a good enough reason. I beleive. I believe. I really believe.

He is not too worked up about the things that brought me stress today. He is not too worked up about taxes, stock market jirations, people who criticize me, or things that did not go my way. He is more concerned about my priorities. Is He first?

Well He is right now and that is all I can committ too right now.

If you read this pray. Pray for me. Pray for my church. Pray for God to give His direction.

Also, admire my grandbaby. Her name is Macon. She is a babe on the beach. She is now 16 months.