Sleep Is Overrated

I am not sleeping like a baby tonight. As a matter of fact it is 3:32 a.m. and I am stressing over the events of this day. I dread being back at my ministry setting because I am hurt and disappointed in myself and in the leadership of my church. We have allowed the enemy to get us sidetracked, distracted and off task.

The thing that hurts me the most about it is that the innocent, lost and needy suffer even more when the soldiers of the cross focus on trivia, self interests, isolationism and protectionism.

The message God gave me this week is right, good and on the right subject of making the right decisions in life. There are at least four people in line for baptism and I hope at least two of them will be baptized in this morning's service. That is the purpose of our existence. I will get to encounter the main stream people who are really the reason I am there. They are the misfits, hurt, hang-up driven and habit bound people who just need a word from God and an encouragement from His minister. They will get that from Him and from me. I refuse to get distracted on that front.

Then there are the other things. I am not sure what to do about that. I am in a quandry and need help. I feel all alone. I feel on a limb. I feel rejected. I feel punished. I feel beat down. When I write this I plan to read through Psalms for some insight. Perhaps these are feelings of my own making and they will pass with time. Perhaps these are feelings of God's Spirit telling me something I don't want to hear. Perhaps these are feelings of powerful motivation that will drive me deeper into my relationship with the Father.

On television above my desk is a worship video reflecting the psalms with a flowing stream in the background. What will it say next to me? I want to hear. Is there something for me? There is now snow and a path in the forest. Classical christian music is playing. It is piano music. I can just see Laurie's dad playing the piano, or Laurie or Andrew. It is beautiful. God is speaking to me.

"This is the gift of God. He will not swell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart." Ecclesiastes 5 Text on the screen.

Interesting. No need to "swell unduly on the days of my life" so I need to keep busy with the joy of my heart. That is good to know today. The joy of my heart is sharing Jesus, speaking His word, meeting new people, loving my family, building leaders, encouraging others. That is what I will do.

I still want to be just the chaplain of 29th street. God help me to visit my flock. God help open new doors for my personal ministry. I can't wait to make that first visit this week. God open my mind and heart to the opportunities You will give to me. Thank you for the joy that the thought of this brings.

Now I feel peace and am sleepy again. God magnify my rest so I will be ready later today for what you have for me. I know it will be good.

Revive us again. That is the song now. That is my prayer. Revive me again. Thanks for doing that. Thanks for the group singing. Thanks for the music video at 4:03. What an encouragement.

Now I will sleep. Thanks.